update meee haaays .

KAAAAAAYS , HMMMSSS , where too starttt . vball tryoutss wereee lasssstnigght . BOMMMB . lmaaao , i didd prettyy goooodd . lols , HAAAY . immma try fer VAR tho . i amm naah tryna be on JV , FUKCSSHTHAT . buhh yeaaap ! iom happpy tooo bee playn agin , SHIEEETTT (; bwahaha . hmms wha else , so i guess im gettn my grades up , buhh likee yeaaah . fukcn struggln here -_- i have summerschool at gardena , FUKKKCC . buhh whaever i gotta do thisss , so i caaan get bakc on trakc . i hope i get to fairfield before dre&kway leave :/ EEEEP . i miss theem sooo muccch ! buh yeaaaap . so likee mee andd babeess goood . ahaha , BOMMBB . feeelns are growing , and idgaf bout anything else ! :D WE GOT THISSS HAAAY ! i told you that before , and we gon do itt rigggh . caussse weee thaa besst haays . KBYESSS .

huuuy .

ahaha , i got so frustrated riggh now , i cannt sign on to blogger on my fonnneeee . wells , yeeeee . HUUYY , so much to say , ideekay howta start . leeets seeee . firsst thanng . SCHOOOL . muhfuhkn whore . lassst progresss sht i gotta 1.8 >.< im helluh juss trynnna get my 2.0 ;[ i neeeda get on thaa vball teaaam , i'll cry swearr . i fuhknn UGHHH . mann , &on everythinnng , im likee doing everything , andd whanot . allll thaa hmwk , classwork . SHT , ideeekaaay wtfuhks fuhkn mee over . huuuy , its helluh harddd causeee i jusss wannna get bakc to my old gradesss , buh like im gettn badass grades with all the effort in tha world , &ierno wha elsee too doo . FUHKN GOT SUMMMERSCHOOOOL . naaaah crakcn . i guess thas wha i get fer nah going to school fer like 3months or longgerrrr . 6weeeks xtra . DAMN . fml . im helluh tired all the time , like im naah tryna say i cannt take it , cause i am , and i will . itss juss FUHK , im sleeepy like fuhk in classs , sleeeepn in most of themmm . &im startn too slowly lagg onn it , likeee specially 1st period , fuhk . oweellsss, immma go hard theseee lasssst daays , theeen nxt 3yearss imma doo perfectly , aint trynna fuhk up annymore . im done with that , i've done ENUFF of that ferrr 342874932 yearsss . immma get everything asss perfect ass i cann . tired off beingg content witth a B or C . thass naah meee , imma get thiiss done . i will . huyy , juss time neeedsa be on my sidee ferwhile . secondd thanng , homme . UGGH . dammn i swear all aspects of my lifee is pretty low . lmao . i wannnnna move move move . im tired offf beingg hereee . im sooo dwn too be in LB agin :/ i fuhkn hateeee beingg withh thesee peopleee -_- like on everythanng . could move out righ nowww , shooot . i neeeeed my fuhkn privacy bakc . EVERYTHANNG wasss helluh mucch better when theey camme round :[ honestly , actually , life was BOMB withh theem in redondo . naah tryna look messsd up , buh its all the truth . theeir like thaa monster that tore down all my happiness -_- fuhk , im corrny . lmaaaoo . buh yeaaah , i have to stay one more year at gardena -_- WHAT A FUHKN DRAG . soo i'll bee at poly in my junior yearr . naah crakcnn , buhh whaeverr , doo whaataa i gotta do . third , him . WE BEEEEN GREAAAT LATELY . GREAAAAAAAAAT (; BOMMMBSKEEEZ . ahaha , except fer lasst nigght , buh who givess a fuhk , make it thrru it . didnt really involve him anywaays . ahaha , buhh yeeee (; BESSST . immma roll deeep with this , cause i think we caan do it real big , bigger thann hess ever donnee itt beforeee . takn it sloww first tho , whoo . ahaha .

ahaha , yeaap .

i think imma quit this niggga . tired of tha bitchassnesss . shoulda nvr told me thaaat my niggga , cause ever since , you've beeen doin me so damn wrong . leavn me hanngn , actn up to me , nigga i dnt neeed that . i think im goood on tha sht fernow . do me betterr . try me agin . maybes . like you always say babbby , we gon get thru this . buh iono righ now , cause im jus sikc&tired if it . seee tha hoe tmrw , cause idgaf anymore . mayb i'll get over you , mayb i wnt . buh i sho will try my fkcn besssst . thanks fer the memories ? they were nice ferwhile . i still love you no matta wha . more&more . more than you , more than anyone . buh i cant anymore .





to schoooool bullsht , i think immm doinn bettter . laggn on tha mathh , buh i'll get bakc upp hopefully . tryna get my 2.0 ferrr vballl . imma make thee dammnn requirementsss , sht , got me so fkcd up . wee gon get tha sht poppn (= im tired . kays , bye .

ahem ?

aha , soo differennt . so much bettter ? ehs , kinna (; LOLS . i sometimes , wannna tell you errthanggg . buh i know i cant . i will tho , ahaha . you tell me all yo feelings , im jus not ready to express mines yet . no jus yet anyways . your ferever EVERYTHING i think about , you got something on meee . &im soo happy you feeel the exact same waaay . cause honestly , babbby im falling for you . AINT NO CORNY SHT EITHER , like you alwasy say , all the sht from the inside (; i wisssh sometime our situation wass different , or mine was . buh im good for now (; all i want is you , and thas wha i got . FKC YO HOES THO . everrryone of them (; aint nuin to me . we got that gooodlove , that love that no one can take . like you told me aint no female can jus comeup and take you away from me . righ ? mhm , iss still a dream tho . i got you . damn . buh iono . we ferever talkn , we ferever lovn , we ferever together ?

FKC THIS SHT .

GAH FKCN DAMN ! I HATE THIS SHT . I HELLUH AM PISD ASS FKC RIGH NOW !&ITS ALL CAUSE OF HIM . LIKE FKCCCC ! DAMMMMN YOUU NIGGGGGGAAAA . YOU SUKC ! UGH ! I HATE HOW HE DOES THAT TO ME , FKCFKCYOU ! YOU MUHFUHKN TELL ME ALL THESE SHT THEN EXPECT ME TO STFU ?! THE FKC CUH ?! YOU GOT ME SOO FKCDUP IF YOU THINK IMMA JUS NOT SAY MY FEELNS & YOU CAN DO WHA YOU WANT WITH ME ! FKCYOU ! SOMETIMES YOU JUS PISS ME THE FKC OFF ! GAH FKCN DAMN ! YOU UGGGHHHHHH ! MY HEARTS FKCN POUNDIN&I CANT EVEN THINK PROPERLY ! I WANNNA SCREAM AT YOU . I WANNA SLAP YOU . I WANT YOU TO FEEL WHA I FKCN FEEL . HOW YOU GONNA BASICALLY KEEP PULLN ME IN YET YOU DNT WANNA MAKE THIS SHT Go FARTHER ?! THAT DNT MAKE SENSE AT ALL ! FKC YOU NIGGGA .

i cant even explain anymore .

BUH THEN AGIN , WHEN HAVE I EVER BEEN ABLE TO XPLAIN ANYTHING I FEEL FOR YOU ? I choooose you over everryoneee . I LOVE YOU SO MUCH . You makee mee helluh love life . I'LL FINISH THIS ONE DAY . I jus iono, feeel like chilln (;

trip assss 2 days .

Yesterday wasss sht . TODAY WAS SHTTIER . THIS SHT JUS HIT US SO FAST . i cant believe such a gooodass thing fuckn hurts soo bad . This is what i beeen waiting for forever , and yet it hurts so bad .
WHOA.
all of a sudde i feel soo much better :D
Hahhahaa, aint that something ?
LOL.
i juss feeel dandddy ! HAHAHHAHAHA .
i guess cause he said he didnt wanna lose me :D
LMFAO.
iono , crazzzzzy .
HAYYTHO :D

i understand now .

im srry i didnt believe you . im srry for doubting you boo . now i know , everything you spit is the truth . i feel guilty and so fucking dumb for even thinkn you was lyin to me . my bad . i love you . this is so bitttersweeet . bitter cause i thot you was lyin and sweet cause i know you aint lyin soo everything you say to me is true . and thaaat makes me wanna give you my whole heart now and forever . i fucking love you nigga . i cant explain how much my love for you is . but know i aint nvr loved ANYONE like this before . not even my momma . soo last night wasss sweeet (; aha <3 nigga everything you say to me is truth , and everything i say to you is truth . everything you say is love , everything i say is love . babbyiloveyou . alwys&frvr.

last night was bomb <3

aha, it really was . lmao . i heard the things i wanted to hear (; and i felt the things i wantd to feel . aha, salll gooodddd . i jus hate how likeee rigggh nowww , he aint txtn me >.< i dnt wanna txt him , he should txt meee . sht . imh every second of my life . and i wanna hear his voice everyday allday . buh ugh . im startn to hate that bitch . shes fkcn me over tooo now >.< i wish she gets moves to the side , and forgets everything , and leaves him be . and me . i dnt wanna hear no more sht bout yalls past . cause thas exactly wha she is . HIS PAST . And bitch im his present , and his future . You dnt get too make it to his futureee hoe , causee yousss deadd&gone . soo fkcn move aside , and jus let it go . you may be thee bombest chikc , you may have had all his heart at one time , buh you did his heart like you doin mine , GRIMEY . without you even knowin , you fkcn me over , your hurtn me , killn me softly . bitch , because of you , im here . soooo thanks for fucking up (; i may be jealous of wha you had , i may jealous of wha you still have , buh we both know&agree , i got his heart now , andd you hate me too . be jealous hoe , causeee im feeeeln flattered .

ehs.

it feels different .

it truly amazes me .

how much someone can feel for one person . every second without him , crazy how much i die slowly . all i want now a days is for that sht to be on , and it be like before . cause i cant stand juss waitn for him to get home and to call me . i wanna txt him thru out my day , i wanna call him when hes not home . nigga i want him ALLDAY . Is it selfish ? I d g a f . I juss miss him so much , thinkn of him juss makes meee miss him more . Im tired of stayn up to jus get 5mins of his time , and then knockn outt fasst . all i need is a i miss you , then im happy tho >.< i jusss need a lidddo of him at times , yet i want him all . helluh makes me happy tho , i went to sleep smiling righ ? yessir . Its worth it . I sacrafice my sleep for him . He sacrafices his sleep for me . I aint changn that . ILOVEHIM<3

ughhh.

i wake up and i feeel like sht. i forgot my fone at veras so ugh . and allla that otherrr boooosht . ughhh . i misssssssssssss him . ugh . i cant xplain how fkcn shtty i feeeeel >.<>.<>.< FKCHIM! Fkcn bastard, loookn bakc at me and sht . ASSSSHOE . thas why when i txtd him he didnt reply back (; HAHAHAHAHA. BITCH . buhh yeeaaah (; i was hypervenalting at how fkcn sexy they were.
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL. Fkcn Gardena dnt got no sexy niggas >.< except for jx_________! anddd yeeeah . Thats the times when i miss LB :D Yeah . HHHAA.

imh .

hellliuh ! fkccc , >.< alwaysss andd foreverrr wantn juss youu . i miss youuu ;[ iss only beeen like half a day tooo >.< buh i really dnt care . fkc , last night wass bomb tho ! haha, babbe made mee hellluh fkcnn happpy (; out of this world happy . beyond everything . wife me up tho ! sikke bitch . wifed alreadddddy :] i need him like a car neeed gas . i wnt go on without him . man . he makes me the happiest fkcn girl . i love him . i love you asshoe (;

woooows.

FEEEEEEELING SUPERRR x______ ! Im usually not even the type to . but i am , andd itss fuckinng annoying >.< Cause fuckkksss. He got x________ ! And dammmn, i hate it sometimes . But i dont blammee them . Hahahha, itss like i know im x_________, but fuck . STILL . It hurts . SO MUCH . Especially when x___________ . Its like fuck mannng . GO AHEAD THEN . But . ugh . I dont even try and hide it . LOL. He already knwoww wshuup . Yet, he tends to fucking tell me x__________ . And i dnt even wanna hear that sht no more . id really rather not . I dont wanna know bout it . It makess mee crazzzzy mad , ugh . But other than that . WESS GOOOOD . Haha, i got him, he got me . BAM BAM (;
I hate hoes, bitches, and skanks.
:D

*deep breathe*

DAMMMMNNN NIGGGGGGA, I love you so much. I cant stand a minute without you.
CLICHE ? Nigga . its all the truth tho . I really entirely hate a mntue with out you. Your x________ing right now, and damn. I miss you already ! Hah. Its sweet to wakeup from my nap and get a voicemail, missed call, and txt saying that you miss me cause x________ (; Even tho, i wish i was awake so i could have heard your voice. Hehe. Every night with you, damn. Nothing could be better . NOTHING ever made me feel like this before. Every second i share with you, i feel so happy and content . I want you more than anything to just be here. Allday. Everyday. Next to me. But i know that cant always happen . FUCK GARDENA ! I misss LB . <3 I dont even need to completely have you, for me to know, IGOTYOU (; So many morning i wakeup to a txt from you, and all i can feel is happy, no matter how fucking pissed off my mom or brother makes me. you make my world just so beautiful . if i had one wish . I would wish for you to be mine, forever and ever. That reminds me last night when we were like I love you more and more each day. And you said I love you forever. And i said I love you always and forever. And you said I love you for eternity. And i said I love you for infinity. I know , without any doubt in the world, you wouldnt ever leave me. And thats all i want .

Reminders.

YOU GOT SOMETHING GOOD.
Dont fuck up Lyza.
Please.

I dnt think I can get a lot better than this.

But I hope it does :] I aint complaining, but id would be fkcnnn G for that too happen :] but if it dnt , iss sall goood ! Haha, I motherfucking LOVE thatt neegrrrooooo. Frealsss. But I hate that x______________ everytimee. I dnt like that , buhh I aint trippeeen. I guesss . Hah . Peacccce.

feb.25

LB thiss weeeekendd :] hellluh up. Hah. Fkc cuh. Juss ohh soo happpy withh him :D imma do him goood, cause he does me good . Freaaaallsssss. I cannt believvee I never saww howw muchh he's soo goood to me. Hah. I did, buh not reallly. Helluh naive. I love that nigga like I love my momma. Cause he literally gives me a life, I aint exxagerating tha truth, I wake up each day, happy to have him in my life. My will and everything <3

happppyy ass a muhhhkckkaaa :]

He makes me happier than you ever did. He makes me feeel out of this world. With you, I wasn't happy. And even if im not with him, he makes me happier than you ever did put togetherr. He knows me, and I know him. Jus thinkn about him makes me feel better :] damn, I had to get thru you to see that im better off with him :D I kind of hate you. And I kind of dnt. Cause you were an asshole to me. You said you'd be different. LIE. But then again you did give me him back :] you lied so much. And I hate how you make me feel. I deserve better, you deserve someone that can put up with you. Im not the one, never really was. Im sorry. Im sorry I couldn't be your ride or die. Even after everything, I tried to stay true and be your friend. That didn't work. You have so many problems. Im not ready to put up with it. My bad for being young. You grew up too fast for me. I care for you and your well being. But I could never in my life say I was in love with you. And you know that. Cause deep down inside, you yourself knew, I was in love with him. And no one can stop that. Im sorry. I hope you get somewhere in life. And you get better. And I dearly honestly hope you find the girl I could never be for you.

&babyimsrry.

Wooo. Lets start it agin yee ? Its beeen hard, helluh still is, buh imma try my best. And make this worth it. I didn't do all that sht for everything too be gonne, ghostt, SIKKKEEEE. We gonn work this thru bbby. Fkc, I know peopless gonna bitch, buh fkcthat. I can deal. I guess. Everyone at home knows, oh weell my decision, and if it is, my mistake. Im not sayn its a mistake, buh I can take it. I love tht nuggggaaa, ahahah. Hard to believe buh I dooo. Hiss buttfacee asss. Lol. Dammmn, we broke up twice in the past weeeeek and something days >.< itsss kayss tho. Imma do it good this time, im hoping. Buhh yeeee. O23TEEN20H9

ohwow.

Last night was fkcn rough. It wasn't what I wanted to happen. I regret it. And I dnt fkcn want to feel like this again. Buh I prolly will again. I dntt think it'll fkcn happen again. Iono. Its hard. Fkc. Mang. I nneeeed him, but why ? I never felt like this . Like why's he so fkcn different ? Can someone tell me ? Why the fkcs he so fkcn special ?! Danng. Im not fkcn ready for everything, but the fkcs happening to me ? Freals. Cause I can't get this sht off my mind. And I dnt want to let go. Im tired of crying, but I need him. I can't help these tears . I wanna get back with him, but im hesitant. Very. I dnt want to look stupid.

falalalalal lallaala.

Ugh. Im like fkcn confused. I jus wanna keep to him, buh the fkc am I to do bout these things happeneing ? I can't handfle it. Like fkc. I wanna stay true, so why wnt these things jus go ?! Why they gotta be so fkcn like out theeree, can't help it. I can't. Like fkc, why do I do too much ?! The hells wrong with me ? Mmmmm. I dnt wana fkc a good thing, so why am I ?







Sooo. Imm in french. Fkcn hate this fkcn classs. And yeeee. Fkc. I was soo mad duringg 5th period. I am not feeeeln anything righh now ! I fkcn hate how this shts like takn over me. Damn. I dnt need this sht righ now. I neeeda get my sht strait, get it done, then mayb I can do what I want. Fkc. Nuggggass. I want him, then I want him, buh then I need him ! Ughh. Can't balance this sht out. I dnt know, if I can keep it true with him, then like damn, im feeln that nigga a lot! And then that nigga got me hellluh thinkn. Fuckk righhh ? I know ! I neeeda juss stop I think. Mang. I hope if I do even like do what I been thinkn, that it doesn't back fire, and im left with nothing.

rawwwwwwwwwwwwr

Uggggggh ! The fkc am I doing ?

feb.16.09

Lyza. You fucked up. Can't stop thinkn bout it. You fkcd up a good thing. Why can't you shut your mouth sometimes ? Someone answer me that.

feb.16.09

Lyza. You fucked up. Can't stop thinkn bout it. You fkcd up a good thing. Why can't you shut your mouth sometimes ? Someone answer me that.

Jan.13-

HEYYYY. Hahhaha, beeen on vacationnn. WEEEE. I was back yesterdayish. Lmao. I misss myy dadddieeee soo mcuhhh damnnn. I crieddd soo fuckinggg muchhhh. Crazyy fuckingg shittt. but yeahhh. I prayeddd the other night that daddie would be with nanay and tatay andd bethhh. >.<>.<>.< , hes in the 11th grade. Daniel :D Hes cooool.

Jan.26,09
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK. I neeeda update. IONO. Mannnnng. UHM, Schooollsss beeeen okay ! :D FINE ACTUALLY. Hah, IM GETTTING GEOMETRY. FINALLLY. But i think its not GEO, i think its like TOO EASY for me. I mean im done in like 30mins. I never have homework. NEVER. EVER . I feeeel fine :D Lol. Uhm, immma name thiss guy Jason :D LOL. Cant say his real name. LOL. HES CUTE :D And COOOOOOOL. Lol. VERRRRRRRRY. Uhm, CHRIS isss cooool :D Fucking random tho, freakn asked some chick for my number, and randomly txtd me. Lol. Its coool tho :] Everythinggss alrite. OH KEV AND RICHARD ARE DICKS :D Im mad at them right now, SO FUCK THEM. Sina&Brendas BDAY wasssss alriteeeeeeeee. YEEEEEEEEEEE.

Jan.29.09
yeeeeeeeeeeee, soooo itss beeen okay. Not EVERYTHING, but okay. Its just whatever. I MISS LB. Still and always. Pennys bugging me. STUIDSHT. Chanthas UGH. SO YAH, I dont even wannna update. I dont ever have time anymore. I didnt go to school, because i jus didnt feeel like it. SO YEAH.
11:22PM
SOOOOOOOOO. Hahhaha, Nelly juss said julia got beat up :D LOL. How many times does this girl have to get jumped ?! LOL. Man, this is what happens when your a hoe :] LOL. EHHHH. So im feeeeeeeeeling, HMMMM, iono. Immmm dye my hair agin tommarrow. CAUSE I CAN :D And i want to. LOL.

Feb.1.09
MANNNNNGGGGG. I feeeel soo shittttttty. IM MOOODDDDY ANDDD UNABLE TO JUSS CHILLLLLLL. UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. I neeeeeeeeeeeed SOMEONE. FUCK.

Feb.5,09
FINALSSS WEEEK. Stressssful, tiringg. And SICK. Wtf. MANG. I feeel likee shit. No shit probably feeels better than me. I feeeeel UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Man. UGHHHHHHHH. I hate being sick. I hope i passed all of those fucking finals mang. And tmrws fucking PE finals, and fucking gfrench final. HOW THE FUCK AM I GONNNA DO THEE FRENCH ?! UGH. Hes schhaa douche. WHATEVERRRR. Mang. Other than thee bad, LIFEEE ISS GETTTING BACK TO NORMAL :D Fucking finally. Immm feeeling my schoool now. And im feeeling him too :] Hah, hessss cuttteeeee ! AND SWEEEEEEEET ASSSS A CUPCAKKKEEEE :] Mmmm, i wannnaa taste of him ! PWAHH. Hah. Hes my everything, cause hes never EVER made me cry :] Or even hurt. I neeeded this, i needed him :]

Feb.6,09
I didnt go to schoooool today. Too fucking sick. But damn, im reallly fuckinggg loving my lifeeeee right noww. he makesss mee life way way way bettterrrrrrrrrr. like without him, i feeeel soo empty. And im soo fuckingg relieved that he feeels the same. Like damn. But i dont know, right now its like were not together, so like wth? And how the helll did we get this far ? Is it just flirting or are we starting something ? I never thought we;d be this close. I mean, gahhh damnn. I never even thought i'd like him. And we had such a long period of not talking to each other. Now its like, if we dont talk for the day, its surprising, andd sad. I try my best not to always txt him everyday, but it never works. Its either, im like fuck! i need to talk to him ! Or its like he txts me and i dont have no choice other than to respond. LMAO. I've never felt so happy with someone, even fucking kid. I mean, to be honest, this is what everythings suppose to be like, and with kid it was all heartache, and i didnt know that. Till i saw the real thing :] And i never wanna see anything over than this. This feeelings are true, and im truely entirely falling for him. I cant help it that i just got out of something. It just happened. And im so happy it did happen, cause if it didnt , then i would still be crying over kid. Im soo happpy. I finnalllyy seeeee everything. And im letting go of all that bs in the past, and starting new with him, and immma keeep thiss foorever :] cause hesss myyy everything. iloveyousexy.

Feb. 14, 09
VDAYYYY ! Immm soo happpyyy this year. Hah, vdays prettty fuckingg awesome :D LOL. I got rheyna, chrisss, and steve as my valentines :] WEEEEE. hahah, soo happpy to be withh stevveeee. He makes me out of this world FUCKING happpy. LOL. Like i cant stand a min, without him, I missss him soo much at schooooool >.< DAMN. I go crazy sometimes, like i juss wannna seee him everyy minute of my darn life. Hah, and i wannna hear his voice evry second im alive. I jusss reallllly miss him. Hhah. Hess sooo sweeeeeet, andddd damnnn :] Hes cutee tooo. PLUS+ :] He makes me so happy, like iono whatta do with it. Hha. all the bad is like GONE when i think of him. Cause fsho, ilovehim. :D



O23teen09 <3